Room 318

We need to listen, you never know when God may be talking to us. Most of my life I heard “listen to God when He speaks to you.” For years I waited to hear Him speak. I waited to hear His direct words to me. Directing my decisions or actions. Waiting for those words directed at me. It took years to understand it’s not always in words. It can come in actions or a situation that you experience. Today is one of those days.

I have mentioned in past posts that I am working housekeeping in a hospital. This was my weekend to work and like most hospitals with the recent rise in COVID cases our ICU is full. Yesterday while working my shift I noticed the “family cart” sitting outside the door of room 318. The family cart is one the hospital supplies to families as they wait vigilant for their loved one to pass.

Room 318 sits right next to the housekeeping closet so I passed the room several times. What struck me the most was the family cart was outside of the room, but there was no family in the room. There was just an elderly gentleman laying in a bed. I never looked closely at him, I just noticed he was always alone except for the occasional nurse in his room.

Tonight I was finishing up my duties I was returning my cart to the closet and something told me to glance in his room. He was alone in his room as usual. This time was different. I got a closer look. I saw him as he laid there in the bed. He looked peaceful, comfortable. Something was different but I couldn’t put my finger on it, it was just different.

I moved on to finish my schedule for the evening. I was finishing my tasks in another department. It couldn’t have been 15 minutes since I had had left ICU. One of my coworkers came looking for me that there was a room that needed cleaned stat since they had no available rooms. I needed to go to room 318. Yes, in the short time since I left the department he had passed. The peaceful resting man in his room all alone had passed.

I didn’t know the gentleman, I still don’t even know his name. What I do know is that for one brief moment I connected with him. He had someone notice him. In his final moments on this planet he was noticed, he was thought of by someone. The realization of the room I needed to go clean was shocking but seemed like a message. I don’t believe it was a coincidence that I took that final glance into his room.

Tonight was a reminder of how precious life is. What a gift we have and when it ends where do you want to be? I have been struggling with crippling anxiety. My life is in such a disastrous situation in so many ways. I have been paralyzed by my anxiety of my failures of the past and my perception of my the failure my future appears to be, yes my perception. It just took a moment like tonight to know God is speaking to me.

I was reminded of how fragile life is. I was reminded we don’t know the day or time we will be called home. How can I fear my future when I don’t know what it is. How can I regret my past since I never would have been here for that one moment today if I made different decisions in the past. Tonight is a life changer. Tonight brings clarity to light. Tonight brings me hope, joy and peace into my life. Tonight opens up my heart in how to truly listen for God’s Words. He spoke to me and I hopefully heard Him like He wanted me to. So now when I want to reflect on God’s true love for us, I only need to remember John 3:16 and Room 318.

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